View Full Version : Top 10: Worst ever band names


The Captain
14-07-08, 07:27 AM
So here's my top 10 dullest, crappiest band names I can think of..

1. Orange Juice (words fail me)
2. The Sweet (wtf?)
3. The Postal Service (perhaps the dullest of all)
4. Snow Patrol (why?)
5. Elbow (zzz)
6. Ting Tings (grow UP!)
7. CSS (unless it stands for summink very interesting)
8. The Hollies (pansy)
9. Band (f**k off)
10. The Cranberries (strewth)

f**k me these are terrible. I mean what posseses s'one to call their band these?!?

Uncle Ants
14-07-08, 07:35 AM
7. CSS (unless it stands for summink very interesting)


Cansei de Ser Sexy - "I'm tired of being sexy" in Brazilian Portuguese. It quotes a remark Beyonce Knowles apparently once made.

PS. Snow Patrol used to be called Polar Bear ... which is worse?

RobFTM
14-07-08, 07:37 AM
Interestingly (or not) The Cranberries used to be called The Cranberries Saw Us.

Rob.

JTC
14-07-08, 07:41 AM
My ex-band (we have sort of imploded due to lack of general commercial success) was called "Tracksuit Ambassador". I always *HATED* that name...

concrete
14-07-08, 07:44 AM
Surely Test Icicles...

The Captain
14-07-08, 07:45 AM
Polar Bear! Bearpolar is stupid, but better. Bi-Pola is actually cool. 15seconds to think of two better. I bet they took weeks to agree on Snow Patrol!

Theo
14-07-08, 07:48 AM
Prefab Sprout

The Captain
14-07-08, 07:49 AM
You win the prize! I'd forgotten them.

Uncle Ants
14-07-08, 07:54 AM
My ex-band (we have sort of imploded due to lack of general commercial success) was called "Tracksuit Ambassador". I always *HATED* that name...

Quite rightly I would add.

Uncle Ants
14-07-08, 07:55 AM
Actually Oasis is a pretty stupid name for a band, really, if you think about it. and The Beatles is a pretty poor pun. But some bands are so part of the culture you don't think about it.

RickyC6
14-07-08, 07:59 AM
1. Orange Juice (words fail me)



Woah there Captain I said woah there - dissing my favourite band of all time. The name was perfect for capturing the purity of their wimp-indie-rock as distinct from the meffed-up aggressive, johnny-come-lately, pseudo-punk of The Exploited et al.

In my world anyway.

Cheers

Rich

The Captain
14-07-08, 08:07 AM
no Rich, its appaling. I couldn't possibly listen to a note of it with a name like that.

I was going to put Oasis quite naturally at the top of a list with 'worst' in- and its as boring as Noel Gallagher himself- but there are worse words in the english language. Like 'sprout'.

sideshowbob
14-07-08, 08:16 AM
The Sweet is an excellent name. It begins with The, which is always a good move.

Test Icicles is indeed appalling. Any group that takes so little effort over its name must be dreadful.

I'm quite fond of this Prog Rock Band Name Generator:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/gloucestershire/focus/2005/08/prog_rock_name.shtml

-- Ian

Uncle Ants
14-07-08, 08:26 AM
I'm quite fond of this Prog Rock Band Name Generator:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/gloucestershire/focus/2005/08/prog_rock_name.shtml



That's ace!

My band Name is Rhapsody Wormhole :D

Auntie's is Galactic Dimension

Edit: so together we w ould be Rhapsody Wormhole and The Galactic Dimension

That's almost as good as me and my school mate Dave's, bored in English Literature class, imaginary band, Hairy Torso and the Obese Cambodians

The Captain
14-07-08, 08:30 AM
Culture Club is terrible. The Posies. The Pixies used to make me cringe. The Verve sound as boring as the name, as do loads of britpop wet blanket bands (The Wet Blankets is rather good actually, as is Clubbed Foot).

Marmite
14-07-08, 08:39 AM
Modest Mouse is a dreadful name. Are they as terrible as their moniker?

Only thought of one so I can say that my prog rock name is Tangerine Platypus. No complaints with that.

foxwelljsly
14-07-08, 08:43 AM
Toe Fat

Always makes me feel slghtly queasy. Hideous album covers, too.

CHE
14-07-08, 08:51 AM
Matching Mole

johnfromnorwich
14-07-08, 09:07 AM
Modest Mouse is a dreadful name. Are they as terrible as their moniker?

Yes

Matching Mole

No. This is clever if you speak French. Also, Robert Wyatt is genetically incapable of being rubbish.

The Captain
14-07-08, 09:09 AM
Modest Mouse should be in top 10- actually they're not bad at all & had/have Johnny Marr in.

johnfromnorwich
14-07-08, 09:31 AM
Modest Mouse should be in top 10- actually they're not bad at all & had/have Johnny Marr in.

When I first saw the press release announcing this, I immediately thought of when Andy Bell (then unemployed, post-Ride) announcing he was joining Gay Dad. A week later he was in Oasis. I'm not sure what this means but it's a waste of guitary talent in all three examples IMHO.

2 many boxes
14-07-08, 09:37 AM
The Cardigans
The Sugar Cubes
Sigue Sigue Sputnik
Dire Straits
OMD

Colonel_Mad
14-07-08, 09:44 AM
Evil Gazebo?
Pankhurst?

Tigerjones
14-07-08, 10:50 AM
Toe Fat

Always makes me feel slghtly queasy. Hideous album covers, too.

This made me laugh.

Hawklord
14-07-08, 11:17 AM
I'll start with:

A-Ha
Big Country
Bread
Deep Purple
The Doors
Echo and the Bunnymen
Jesus Jones
Kiss
Mike and the Mechanics

Watch this space...

simeon
14-07-08, 11:25 AM
It's got to be And And (****ing) And.

GaryT
14-07-08, 11:36 AM
Even though Prefab Sprout are my favourite band of all time (probably) I agree the name is terrible.
Another truly awful name is 'Jolene & The Jing Jang Jong' - WTF?
How about 'Does It Annoy You, Yeah'
Another stupid one is 'Vampire Weekend' - ironically 'Weekend Vampire' is IMO a super name!
Gary

Uncle Ants
14-07-08, 11:41 AM
(The Wet Blankets is rather good actually, as is Clubbed Foot).

Club Foot would be a good name for a club night or a disco dontcha think?

Jonathan Ribee
14-07-08, 11:42 AM
It's all very personal. I love the band name "Biff Naked" and a friend of mine hates it with an ear covering "LA LA LA NOT LISTENING" kind of hatred. Weird.

Listening to Test Match Special yesterday and they were suggesting that if you do he bank password thing of <name of first pet> + <mother's maiden name> you get a name that always sounds like a famous serious rock band guitarist. I think Bill Frindall's was Ginger McVane. I just thought that if I were a bank account and credit card scammer, I love this to become a game everyone played. hmmm...

Tony L
14-07-08, 11:46 AM
It's got to be And And (****ing) And.

That's a great name! I'd buy a 7" on that alone.

Club Foot would be a good name for a club night or a disco dontcha think?

There was a indie night at La Bateau in Liverpool back in the 80s called Club Foot, I played there a couple of times.

Tony.

Uncle Ants
14-07-08, 11:53 AM
There was a indie night at La Bateau in Liverpool back in the 80s called Club Foot, I played there a couple of times.


There's nothing new is there :rolleyes: I just had an early tea in a small bar/restaurant who host some DJs billed a the "Yes, we'll play it later DJs", which I thought was quite amusing.

concrete
14-07-08, 12:42 PM
There was a great John Peel line I heard about "That was '****', clearly a band who never expect to get beyond my show."

Tony L
14-07-08, 01:10 PM
There was a great John Peel line I heard about "That was '****', clearly a band who never expect to get beyond my show."

I've got a couple of their singles, surprisingly quaint melodic folky stuff. Rather good. Their album was called 'Pardon My French'.

Tony.

tones
14-07-08, 01:17 PM
Dave Barry of the "Miami Herald"

http://www.miamiherald.com/dave_barry/

is forever coming up with bad rock band names in his columns. He actually plays occasionally in one, along with Stephen King (yes, THAT one).

mudlark
14-07-08, 01:29 PM
My prog rock name is river dimension ???

When i was a lad I made two real dim mistakes. I thought why the hell is Queen called queen aren't they a rock band. I was then shocked to find out that Freddie (Bless and respect) was gay. Doh.

A second occasion I was trying to be cool when talking to a really cool chick. She told me that she was into Pink Floyd. I had no idea who they were as I was a useless *anker. Like a twerp i told her that i thought they were great. I discovered later that she was right! To be honest i could be forgiven as I was about 13 and my first PF record was umma gumma. Pink Floyd !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rod
14-07-08, 01:32 PM
So here's my top 10 dullest, crappiest band names I can think of..

1. Orange Juice (words fail me)
2. The Sweet (wtf?)
3. The Postal Service (perhaps the dullest of all)
4. Snow Patrol (why?)
5. Elbow (zzz)
6. Ting Tings (grow UP!)
7. CSS (unless it stands for summink very interesting)
8. The Hollies (pansy)
9. Band (f**k off)
10. The Cranberries (strewth)

f**k me these are terrible. I mean what posseses s'one to call their band these?!?

You hate all these bands, that's why you hate their names? You are an angry young man. :-)

foxwelljsly
14-07-08, 01:58 PM
!!!

What's that all about?

'The The'. Great band. Terrible name.

'The Band' ditto.

foxwelljsly
14-07-08, 02:01 PM
Yes



Shit name. Have they ever received the waggish one word review 'No'?

Uncle Ants
14-07-08, 02:33 PM
!!!

What's that all about?


Whatever you want it to be about I think. According to Wikipedia quoting their website "!!! is pronounced by repeating thrice any monosyllabic sound. Chk Chk Chk is the most common pronunciation, but they could just as easily be called wiki wiki wiki, Pew Pew Pew, Bam Bam Bam, Uh Uh Uh, wang wang wang, etc." ... I think its rather good. Confusing if you chose the syllable Yeah.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs ... that's a shit name.

MichaelC
14-07-08, 03:07 PM
When I was a lad...

We had "The Less than Happy Band""

Enough said.

BTW - with the exception of Stoj we were probably the worst musicians (and I use that term in the loosest sense possible) ever. But we had fun.

RickyC6
14-07-08, 03:21 PM
I was in Hull's first punk band and we were called The Blanx. Shit name, shit band, but we were happy.

Cheers

Rich

The Captain
14-07-08, 04:30 PM
You hate all these bands, that's why you hate their names? You are an angry young man. :-)

no I like the Ting Tings, CSS, Postal Service, The Cranberries.. and Pavement and Yazoo.

but I don't like Haircut 100.

RobFTM
15-07-08, 02:40 AM
There must be a place in any Top 10 for Sixpence None The Richer (doubly so for their shocking La's cover) and the truly shockingly named Kitchens of Distinction.

Rob.

Hawklord
15-07-08, 02:45 AM
And...

Mr Mister
Pearl Jam
Shakespear's Sister
Tin Machine
XTC

SCIDB
15-07-08, 03:28 AM
I was in Hull's first punk band and we were called The Blanx. Shit name, shit band, but we were happy.

Cheers

Rich

Hi Rich,

When was this? Do you have anything on tape?

Dean

Rasher
15-07-08, 03:45 AM
There must be a place in any Top 10 for Sixpence None The Richer


Oh yes, that is seriously awful. On par with Fairground Attraction.

BenS
15-07-08, 04:18 AM
Clap your hands, say yeah! (I'm not 100% sure of the punctuation)

I may never applaud, or answer in the affirmative again. k*nts.

My brother in law progressed from a band called "Reckless Vasectomy" to one called "The Groovy Shoes"

Not good.

Ben

RickyC6
15-07-08, 04:22 AM
Hi Rich,

When was this? Do you have anything on tape?

Dean

Hi Dean

It was 1977/78. You really do not want to hear our version of What Do I Get that subtly changed the lyrics to be about sex with animals i.e. "what do I get? just dogs and cats".

Cheers

Rich

Uncle Ants
15-07-08, 05:32 AM
Cradle of Filth - that's rubbish. Sort of name a couple of 12 year old boys would come up with to annoy their sisters.

The Captain
15-07-08, 05:36 AM
System Of A Down is truly horrible- it makes my toes curl like that Honda slogan "More Forwards Please".

Was (Not Was) has to be the worst so far!

Uncle Ants
15-07-08, 05:45 AM
Was (Not Was) has to be the worst so far!

Was (Not Was) is ace :) Its enigmatic. You know there mjst be a good reason why they are called Was (Not Was) but you can't figure it out - well unless you know why and then its a bit of a let down ... but still.

Rasher
15-07-08, 06:15 AM
Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
Flock Of Seagulls
Hhmm... 80s band names were pretty terrible

paulfromcamden
15-07-08, 06:17 AM
Clap your hands, say yeah! (I'm not 100% sure of the punctuation)


Reminds me of "Does It Offend You Yeah?" :(

foxwelljsly
15-07-08, 06:52 AM
Anal C**t?

Actually the WORST band name I can recall was 'The New Fast Automatic Daffodils'.

BenS
15-07-08, 10:42 AM
Anal C**t?

Actually the WORST band name I can recall was 'The New Fast Automatic Daffodils'.

Very, Very bad indeed. Although, perhaps trumped by "Ned's Atomic Dustbin"?

BenS
15-07-08, 10:45 AM
There is/used to be a New Cross band called "Clitoris Allsorts"
mmmm nice.

The Captain
15-07-08, 04:53 PM
muse- should be nr top of my list.

There must be lots of 'Acid Jazz' (the worst type of music of all, on a par with britpop) terrible 'cool' names. Thankfully I can't remember any!

hacker
15-07-08, 06:13 PM
Mull Historical Society. There's a name to encourage wanton knicker-throwing by adoring fans...

...as long as the fans are dressed in tweed, smoking pipes, and throwing Y-fronts...

Simon Dawson
15-07-08, 11:16 PM
You can't beat the Aussies: SPK - Surgical Penis Klinic (and they can't spell).

Lucce
16-07-08, 02:01 AM
Anal C**t?

Actually the WORST band name I can recall was 'The New Fast Automatic Daffodils'.
Surely the Honolulu Mountain Daffodils got there first.

Joe Hutch
16-07-08, 12:18 PM
Culture Club is terrible. The Posies. The Pixies used to make me cringe. The Verve sound as boring as the name, as do loads of britpop wet blanket bands (The Wet Blankets is rather good actually, as is Clubbed Foot).

'Four skinny indie kids, drinking weak lager in a Camden boozer'

BenS
16-07-08, 02:10 PM
Kadjegoogoo - Anyone correct my spelling please?

kasperhauser
16-07-08, 02:18 PM
Kadjegoogoo - Anyone correct my spelling please?

I would, but I'm too shy shy...

Uncle Ants
16-07-08, 02:28 PM
I would, but I'm too shy shy...

hush

dss
16-07-08, 02:59 PM
I nominate those which have obviously taken too long:

The Sound
The Music
The Pop Group
The Pop
Electronic


DS

nightcleaner
16-07-08, 03:13 PM
what about the Skids conjures up all sorts of images not necessarily in the road i might add.:D always made me smile

The Captain
16-07-08, 03:32 PM
hush (Kajagoogoo)

Neds Atomic Dustbin -have we had that one?
Carter: The Unstoppable Sex Machine
stereophonics
The Monkeys (ees? who cares its crap)
Blur
The Pidgeon Detectives (f**k me this one's unbearable).
Howard Jones (:rolleyes:)

RickyC6
18-07-08, 04:37 PM
The Sweet is an excellent name. It begins with The, which is always a good move.


Now you see to me they were always called Sweet (no "The"). Had great B-sides (Burning and Need A Lot Of Lovin').

Cheers

Rich

jackbarron
18-07-08, 04:56 PM
You've Got Foetus On Your Breath.

Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel.

The Foetus Symphony Orchestra.

Great music and names.

Jack

chainrule
18-07-08, 05:33 PM
anything with the word "wolf" in it.

wolf parade
wolf eyes
sea wolf
guitar wolf
wolf and cub
hour of the wolf
wolf coronel
peanut butter wolf
howlin' wolf

cooky1257
18-07-08, 05:38 PM
Pigeon detectives-leave it out eh?

The Captain
18-07-08, 05:48 PM
No way- it goes in at no 7. Its truly risible.

'Peanut Butter Wolf' (:D) would go straight in top 10 no probs.

cooky1257
18-07-08, 06:36 PM
No way- it goes in at no 7. Its truly risible.

'Peanut Butter Wolf' (:D) would go straight in top 10 no probs.

No,no you misunderstand I think Pigeon Detectives is a god awful name too-"leave it out" was directed at them and their shite pretentious name :)

sds
19-07-08, 11:19 AM
"Shy Talks" was the one that made me wonder.........

coredump
19-07-08, 12:20 PM
I stand by my ususal "nominations"...

* An Emotional Fish (http://www.discogs.com/artist/An+Emotional+Fish)
* Stilskin (http://www.discogs.com/artist/Stiltskin) (supposedly short for Rumpelstiltskin (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumpelstilzchen))
* Kitchens Of Distinction (http://www.discogs.com/artist/Kitchens+Of+Distinction)

Best,
Oliver

Cheese
20-07-08, 03:33 PM
Metallica. It's hard to believe how a band bearing such a cheapo name has been able to produce some really good records.

Joe Hutch
20-07-08, 03:41 PM
Metallica. It's hard to believe how a band bearing such a cheapo name has been able to produce some really good records.

Metal bands usually have shite names. Megadeath, Cradle of Filth, Limp Bizkit and thousands more.

Carl Nyqvist
20-07-08, 04:19 PM
Metallica. It's hard to believe how a band bearing such a cheapo name has been able to produce some really good records.
Beg to differ - I think Metallica is a superb name for a hard rock band as well as for bands in many other categories.

On a different topic I saw a short TV interview with the Metallica guys last night and was happy to notice they still have a lot of energy - I look forward to what they are able to accomplish going forward.

Carl

dave1138
21-07-08, 11:30 AM
'The The' is a horrible name

dave1138
21-07-08, 11:31 AM
I think metallica is a great name

dave1138
21-07-08, 11:31 AM
I think 'Bush' was a pretty poor name

Cheese
21-07-08, 12:10 PM
'The The' is a horrible name

I think metallica is a great name

Our tastes are very different then. I found "The The" excellent ...

But we agree on Bush. We might also agree on "The Presidents Of The United States Of America", I had forgotten this one. Metallica is brilliant in comparison.

foxwelljsly
21-07-08, 02:20 PM
West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band.

Slightly too literal?

BenS
21-07-08, 03:18 PM
The soundtrack of our Lives - Bluergh, no thanks.
Velvet Revolver
The A silver mt zion and the assembled rank of portenious sounding sticklebrick band name, serious but cuchi-coo, fey but noisy, orchestra (and almost all Canadian bands)

The Captain
21-07-08, 04:42 PM
Guns n Roses

Arctic Monkeys

.. both make my toes curl right upwards.

kasperhauser
21-07-08, 05:01 PM
We might also agree on "The Presidents Of The United States Of America", I had forgotten this one. Metallica is brilliant in comparison.
Great band, though. (POTUSOA, that is. Well, Metallica too. And POTUSOA is a better band name when pronounced that way - like some sort of dinosaur. Or dinosoa, if you will.)

aedagnino
21-07-08, 05:33 PM
'The The' is a horrible name

That is so not a horrible name! It's probably the ultimate conceptual name you could give a band. And it's great saying it to someone who doesn't know the band ("The what?!").

rontoolsie
21-07-08, 06:48 PM
In homage to the Commitments

And, and, and!

St.Noah
21-07-08, 07:29 PM
Everything But The Girl - trips off the tongue like a broken tooth.
NRBQ - allow thy mind to freely boggle.
Question Mark & The Mysterians - marginally better than Blankety-Blank.
New Riders Of The Purple Sage - strikes the right note of Country weirdness.
Deep Purple - pathetically devoid of any redeeming feature whatsoever.
Wilco - come again?

etc.

dss
22-07-08, 03:54 PM
Today I got a record by :

"Josef Brinkmann and the Conspiracy of Equals"

Not exactly inspired is it?

DS

The Captain
24-07-08, 07:18 AM
Hootie And The Blowfish.