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Young adults and girl friends staying over

Discussion in 'off topic' started by Gerard124, Apr 8, 2016.

  1. Gerard124

    Gerard124 pfm Member

    Anyone else gone through this sort of stuff?

    Every time my sons girlfriend (age 22) comes round she doesn't go home for 2 or 3 days at a time, its pretty much every week - sometimes a couple of days at a time twice a week.

    My son also goes and stays at the girl friends family home in similar fashion.

    We love them both dearly but finding it all a bit much/claustrophobic to be honest.

    In addition there is planning for meal times - my wife and I both work full time and don't know from one day to the next who is going to be round the dinner table or what we need to load the shopping trolley up with - are we cooking for 2, 3 or 5 - aargh ! ! !

    I don't mind one night at the weekend and maybe an odd night every week or so, but that is falling on death ears.
  2. Bob McC

    Bob McC Living the life of Riley

    We tell our adult kids they are welcome to eat with us but must tell us beforehand.
    Failing that they are their own.
    They rarely miss a mealtime if the alternative means it'll cost them!
  3. Chops54

    Chops54 pfm Member

    Then tell your son and his girlfriend what you've told us. It's better to do it now before it boils over believe me :(
  4. blossomchris

    blossomchris I feel better than James Brown

    I am the same, but the real aggro starts when they just appear, not having made an advanced booking, and raid the kitchen like creatures from Jurassic Park.

  5. TPA

    TPA Trade: Tiger Paw

    Good for you, I don't even allow my daughter's boyfriend to stay over. I never felt comfortable so took the view that we're all different and refuse to go with whatever's acceptable practice or the norm elsewhere. It won't kill them and they can just accept that her father's an irrational git.

    At some point I'll have to take my head out of the sand but for some reason it doesn't cause any particular drama at the moment.
  6. JTC

    JTC PFM Villager...

    Hey, we've been married for over 13 years and I still feel awkward having my other half stay over at either father's place!
  7. James Evans

    James Evans Bedroom Bodger

    Time to give that helping hand with the first time buyer's deposit ;)
  8. Darth Vader

    Darth Vader From the Dark Side

    Funnily enough my daughter has just come home from her London flat at Uni to complete her final dissertation and brought along a friend from Uni that she met in San Diego and is from Malaysia. I believe she is staying for around 3 weeks!

    So I can sympathize with the OP and others. Oh and this is not the first foreign visitor either.

    However it does bring other benefits when having well behaved young people around. I have also been promised that I'll get some authentic Malaysian food cooked for me. Yum.

    I only seem to see them at meal times and they mainly look after themselves. The agreement is for them to let me know if they want to eat with us at our usual time and if so I'll put on extra food else its up to them.

    I suppose it helps that we have a 5 bedroom house so we are not in one anothers pockets so to speak.


  9. Mullardman

    Mullardman Moderately extreme...

    Youngest has just moved out again, so it's quite nice to see her either alone or with the boyfriend. They are both welcome.

    The issue of the kids staying over in the same room is a non issue for me as both kids are over 30. Even when they were a lot younger, my view was that they were over the age of consent and would do whatever they wanted somewhere, so why fight it?

    Mealtimes have never been that fixed in our house anyway, but I just ask if they want to join us, or more often than not, they'll tell us their plans beforehand.

    Older daughter on the other hand has two kids. She turned up unannounced last Sunday and before I'd even emerged from making a late breakfast in the kitchen, had buggered off with Hubby for a pub lunch, leaving the kids with us.

    I wasn't upset because I've not seen the kids for weeks as I didn't want them catching my endless stream of colds this year. Mrs Mull OTOH was distinctly unimpressed and made it clear. We already mind the kids for a day or so every week, which means starting out early to drive to their house in Manchester, but I think they got the message..

  10. Rodrat

    Rodrat pfm Member

    My daughters always ask if their boyfriends can eat with us. I expect this is due to them receiving smaller portions if they don't. I am now laid back about boyfriends sleeping over although I wasn't happy at first. They are grown up and neither boyfriend causes any grief when they are here.
  11. stonehenge

    stonehenge Steve

    +1 Have a sit down and a chat.
  12. sean99

    sean99 pfm Member

    It's just one of the benefits of a completely dysfunctional housing market. Back in my day young people could move out.
  13. Alex S

    Alex S pfm Member

    The main problem is your nicer half. I'm telling some boyfiend to Fcuk off whilst Anya is changing the sheets and serving them dinner.
  14. Nero


    I fancy my son's girlfriend. Is that wrong?
  15. Suffolk Tony

    Suffolk Tony pfm Member

    Any young ladies are welcome to come stay with friendly old uncle Tony.
  16. garyi

    garyi leave blank

    gerard, not sure if you are aware but they are up to the nasty in the bedroom.

    just sayin' sort of puts cottage pie into perspective
  17. mjw

    mjw pfm Member

    We have one married and living in that London and one away at Uni. When they're due back we both get excited then, after a few days, wonder when they might be going back - you can get used to having the house to yourselves.
  18. Joe Hutch

    Joe Hutch Mate of the bloke

    My nephew has just moved out of his parental home, a few months short of his 40th birthday!
  19. James

    James Lord of the Erg\o/s

    I have an old school friend who is still staying at home with his parents. He's nearly 55 years old, FFS.
  20. The Far North

    The Far North pfm Member

    There'll have been a transition along the line where he is now looking after them, rather than the other way round. Maybe ........ :p

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